The playing out of rebel and conformer in our behaviour is indicative of a toxic system.
Both rebel and conformer have been wounded by the toxicity of the system and are working to rectify the circumstances that caused that hurt.
The rebel vows never to be part of the harm causing system by moving against it. The conformer vows to take their every opportunity to be accepted as part of the harmful system to prevent themselves from being at its mercy.
Both strategies create a binding to the toxicity of the system and a perpetuating of the harm it causes.
The rebel is eaten up from inside to the point that all they see is corruption. They become shut down to hope and beauty. The rebel becomes a force of contempt through which the toxic system continues to propagate an imperative to surpress, and indoctrinate us all with ‘us and them’ mentality.
The conformer becomes blinded to what is real and to the motivating forces behind action. They become shut down to depth and substance, and the richness and beauty of the intelligence and intention behind life. They become a force of ignorance through which the system continues to violate.
The rebel becomes the victim. The rebel professes that victimhood is the result of the ills of the system, and the system professes that this same victimhood is the result of the destructive tendencies of the rebel. Both the rebel and the toxic system they fight against, are in a process of justification of the victimhood of the rebel. The rebel puts forward their being made a victim as an act of abuse by the system, whilst the system puts forward the rebel being made a victim as a result of the rebel’s criminality.
The conformer becomes the violator. They label blatant falsities as simple truthes. They endorse the violating system and the system commends them for doing so, labelling them as good abiding citizens. This acts as a bandage shielding them from feeling their ‘not good enough’ wounding, and endorses their acting from their ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’ shadow, which further perpetuates ‘us and them’ mentality and the harms of polarization in general.
While we’re doing this dance of rebel and conformer our creative energy that could be building the new systems outside of the toxic system is wasted. Our potential for collaboration and collective upliftment leaks away into sticky and binding interpersonal interactions that keep us guarded and suspicious & wary of one another.
So how do we evolve out of this?
Rebel and conformer shadows arise from the distorted masculine in its expressions as removed, unreachable and/or oppressive. Whether we’re standing for, or pushing against, the distorted system, we’re feeding it, and fueling the underlying patriarchal models of ‘power over’ that keep us disconnected from our own personal power, and the power of our uniting with each other for the common good.
When we begin to own the places in ourselves where we’re removed from life, where we have made ourselves unreachable and have shut down to life, when we begin to bring love and tender care to these places, then we can begin to move with what it is that we long to live and create in the world, and line up our actions with the deep calling in our hearts for harmony.
When we begin to own the places in ourselves where we oppress and control both ourselves and others, and to take care of, and soothe the fear in us that drives them, then we can begin to feel our freedom to make a difference and be the change we long for in the world.
These processes of releasing of toxicity in our behaviour and empowerment of our capacity to act from love and freedom are very much part of the fabulous ‘The Erotic Gatekeeper & The Sexual Initiate For Men Training’ which begins again in Amsterdam in September 2022! Yes!
In this men’s training you’ll invest yourself in evolving beyond the long ingrained shadow places of both your masculinity and femininity, and step into embodying steady, surrendered presence to all that moves within you, and in others to whom you offer support. You’ll build your capacity to be with your experience and that of others, and to use your erotic aliveness to stay sharp, sensitive, available to life’s delight, and in upholding of the force of love.
Are you ready to use the vital current of your eros to enliven your action with your deepest desires for life! Yes!? Then register here now for this deeply transformational men’s training journey!
To stay in the loop of my Amsterdam men’s offerings join the Men’s Sexuality & Soul Play MeetUp group
Angel & Devil Playing Chess By Ushumgal – Free image from WallpaperSafari.
