Inside of me live both monogamy and polyamory, side by side, in harmony.

They are not in conflict. 

They live in me as complementary forces which I will embody and employ at different times in my life.

I have long identified as a polyamorous human being. And yet in this last year I have fallen in love with a monogamously wired man whilst inside of polyamorous love relationships. 

Not only have I fallen in love with this monogamously wired man but I have also fallen in love with the possibility of he and I having a monogamous love relationship together. 

I have fallen in love with the possibility that he and I could wake up each morning and fall asleep each night together in each others arms. I have fallen in love with the possibility that we could make a home together, that we could be fluid bonded, that his smell would always be on my body, that we would one day be married, and that I would give myself sexually entirely to him.

Essentially I am a romantic. I believe in love.

I believe in love both as the big force through which all beings can thrive together in support of one another in the world. 

And I believe in love as the exquisite force of union and bonding in sexual relationships. This is what I choose to live. 

I choose to live love in both of these frequencies.

I am not stuck in the forms of monogamy or polyamory. 

I am committed to living my life with my beloved or beloveds as they arrive in my life and as love develops between us. 

I hope that I get to live my life with the beautiful monogamously wired man I spoke of above, in which case I will live in celebration and delight of the force of monogamy within me. And yet, right now both of my love relationships are in a state of ‘break-up’. 

Perhaps I will move forward into a new monogamous love relationship with a new man. Perhaps I will move forward into a number of new polyamorous love relationships with a number of new men. I do not know. 

What I do know is that I am dedicated to living the love that I meet and choose to nurture in love relationships and that when I follow this it may take me into monogamous forms of love relationship or polyamorous forms of love relationship. Both of which I can fall in love with.

I am in awe of the beauty of love relationship. 

I would not forgo love relationship for all the pain that comes with it. 

I bow deeply to love relationship in all its forms and expressions.